


(Almost) Everyone Has a Price

by throwninthelionsden (theblacksheep)



Series: Shit that I Owe [1]
Category: MCU, Marvel 616
Genre: Gen, when you realize that you own people stuff and end up posting it over a year later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 02:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5188700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblacksheep/pseuds/throwninthelionsden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short dabble that I owe to someone from a give away on Tumblr. I am so sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Almost) Everyone Has a Price

**Author's Note:**

> For Dan (goddamndeadpool) who won this over a year ago (and I forgot to post it because I'm an asshole).  
> All mistakes are probably mine because I can't remember if I got it beta-ed.  
> If you see anything amiss please feel free to inform me.

Maria knew SHIELD had an expansive betting pool. In fact, she was often a silent participant in them. For all the secrets a secret government could keep, its agents were surprisingly prone to gossip.

Some ongoing bets include: how much food does Sitwell actually store in his desk (there are separate pools for different offices in the western hemisphere, The Helicarrier not included), how did Fury actually lose his eye (the senior agents who know have banned together to perpetuate ridiculous stories for the junior agents to circulate among themselves), are Agents Romanoff and Barton dating or is that platonic (Maria and Natasha started this one and are making a ridiculous about of money because Clint is also in on it), and where does Coulson get all his Captain America memorabilia because that shit is absurd and it keeps multiplying (this is a question even Fury asked, but has since given up wondering). But, the bet that surprised Maria the most was about her, her and Deadpool to be exact (funny enough it was Wade who told her about it). 

When he told her, she wasn’t sure whether to make a biting remark or inquire more. The latter won out, “And how much money is on this?” Wade caught her on the flight deck of The Helicarrier, which was a good move on his part, the noise would drown out the conversation so the agents working near them were clueless.

“Six grand says I’ll kiss you and get shot. Seven grand says I’ll get dropped from the flight deck at full altitude,” came his reply. This information nearly made her sputter, but Maria Hill doesn’t sputter. So, she looked at him with eyebrows raised to her hairline.  
“Bullshit. I would have heard about it if the stakes were that high.” They were currently at half altitude and if they went any higher she’d need a breathing apparatus. Wade, on the other hand, had his regeneration mutation to keep him from suffocating.

“Weellll….” he lingered before replying, “There may or may not be another part of the bet that says you’ll find out and throw me off the helicarrier anyways, but that’s not the point! We should kiss!”  
She could feel her mouth hanging open, but she couldn’t find the will to close it, “How much is the last one worth?”

“Ten grand, but again, not the point,” came his reply, “ You should close your mouth or you’re gonna catch bugs.”  
She closed her mouth so quickly she bit her tongue.  
“I have a job to do and you have to debrief from your mission,” Maria never believed she had a price, but god damn it took willpower to walk away, “So do us both a favor and don’t test my patience.”


End file.
